diff --git a/royalnet/serf/discord/escape.py b/royalnet/serf/discord/escape.py
index e8af742a..70848e50 100644
--- a/royalnet/serf/discord/escape.py
+++ b/royalnet/serf/discord/escape.py
@@ -1,4 +1,14 @@
 import re
+from ...utils import escalating_odds
+import datetime
+
+
+# https://stackoverflow.com/questions/18621568/regex-replace-text-outside-html-tags
+spooky_pattern = re.compile(r"o(?![^\[]*]|[^[]]*\[/)")
+spooky_replacement = r'⊕'
+
+url_pattern = re.compile(r"\[url=(.*?)](.*?)\[/url]")
+url_replacement = r'\2 (\1)'
 
 
 def escape(string: str) -> str:
@@ -6,10 +16,10 @@ def escape(string: str) -> str:
 
     Warning:
         Currently escapes everything, even items in code blocks."""
-    url_pattern = re.compile(r"\[url=(.*?)](.*?)\[/url]")
-    url_replacement = r'\2 (\1)'
+    if escalating_odds(datetime.datetime(2020, 10, 17, 4, 0)):
+        string = re.sub(spooky_pattern, spooky_replacement, string)
 
-    simple_parse = string \
+    string = string \
         .replace("*", "\\*") \
         .replace("_", "\\_") \
         .replace("`", "\\`") \
@@ -24,6 +34,6 @@ def escape(string: str) -> str:
         .replace("[p]", "```") \
         .replace("[/p]", "```")
 
-    advanced_parse = re.sub(url_pattern, url_replacement, simple_parse)
+    string = re.sub(url_pattern, url_replacement, string)
 
-    return advanced_parse
+    return string
diff --git a/royalnet/serf/telegram/escape.py b/royalnet/serf/telegram/escape.py
index ecdc6066..a0147555 100644
--- a/royalnet/serf/telegram/escape.py
+++ b/royalnet/serf/telegram/escape.py
@@ -1,5 +1,15 @@
 import re
 from typing import *
+from ...utils import escalating_odds
+import datetime
+
+
+# https://stackoverflow.com/questions/18621568/regex-replace-text-outside-html-tags
+spooky_pattern = re.compile(r"o(?![^\[]*]|[^[]]*\[/)")
+spooky_replacement = r'⊕'
+
+url_pattern = re.compile(r"\[url=(.*?)](.*?)\[/url]")
+url_replacement = r'<a href="\1">\2</a>'
 
 
 def escape(string: Optional[str]) -> Optional[str]:
@@ -8,12 +18,12 @@ def escape(string: Optional[str]) -> Optional[str]:
     Warning:
         Currently escapes everything, even items in code blocks."""
 
-    url_pattern = re.compile(r"\[url=(.*?)](.*?)\[/url]")
-    url_replacement = r'<a href="\1">\2</a>'
+    string = string.replace("<", "&lt;").replace(">", "&gt;")
 
-    escaped_string = string.replace("<", "&lt;").replace(">", "&gt;")
+    if escalating_odds(datetime.datetime(2020, 10, 17, 4, 0)):
+        string = re.sub(spooky_pattern, spooky_replacement, string)
 
-    simple_parse = escaped_string \
+    string = string \
         .replace("[b]", "<b>") \
         .replace("[/b]", "</b>") \
         .replace("[i]", "<i>") \
@@ -25,6 +35,6 @@ def escape(string: Optional[str]) -> Optional[str]:
         .replace("[p]", "<pre>") \
         .replace("[/p]", "</pre>")
 
-    advanced_parse = re.sub(url_pattern, url_replacement, simple_parse)
+    string = re.sub(url_pattern, url_replacement, string)
 
-    return advanced_parse
+    return string
diff --git a/royalnet/utils/__init__.py b/royalnet/utils/__init__.py
index c0aec256..12345899 100644
--- a/royalnet/utils/__init__.py
+++ b/royalnet/utils/__init__.py
@@ -9,6 +9,7 @@ from .sleep_until import sleep_until
 from .strip_tabs import strip_tabs
 from .taskslist import TaskList
 from .urluuid import to_urluuid, from_urluuid
+from .escalating_odds import escalating_odds
 
 __all__ = [
     "asyncify",
@@ -30,4 +31,5 @@ __all__ = [
     "strip_tabs",
     "TaskList",
     "RoyalnetProcess",
+    "escalating_odds",
 ]
diff --git a/royalnet/utils/escalating_odds.py b/royalnet/utils/escalating_odds.py
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..66c758dd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/royalnet/utils/escalating_odds.py
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+import random
+import datetime
+import logging
+
+log = logging.getLogger(__name__)
+
+
+def escalating_odds(target_day: datetime.datetime) -> bool:
+    time_left: datetime.timedelta = target_day - datetime.datetime.now()
+    log.debug(f"Time left is {time_left}")
+
+    if time_left.total_seconds() <= 0:
+        log.debug("Target has passed, autorolling a success")
+        return True
+
+    odds = 1 / (time_left.days + 1)
+    result = random.uniform(0, 1) <= odds
+    log.debug(f"Odds are {odds}, rolled a {result}")
+    return result